People bond when they do things together.  Customer experience professionals should think of themselves as fellow-travelers, or guides, who walk along with the customer through whatever process they are involved in – whether pre-sales, sales, post-sale support, repurchase, etc.

Think about what a wilderness guide does for a client.  A guide will give you safe passage but also tell you:

• what to expect
• how to prepare
• mistakes to avoid
• good things to take advantage of

According to Dr. Robert Cialdini, the third element in rapport building (after Commonalities and Compliments), is Collaboration, or Cooperation. People bond when they do things together.  The type and degree of collaboration you can create depends on the context, the amount of time involved, and whether you are on the phone or face to face.

Some of the verbal signals of collaboration are

• active listening with open-ended questions, paraphrasing & keywording, and empathy statements
• using collaborative wording such as “we” instead of “I” and “you” (“Let’s see what we can do to help…”)
• setting customer expectations about next steps, time frames, things to watch out for, etc.

Some Non-verbal signs of collaboration are

• standing side by side with a customer to look at something
• escorting the customer to a desired location
• sitting down next to the customer to look at something together
• when over a counter, having your shoulders square to the customer, rather than being partially oriented to a computer display, cash register, or some other object

Rapport is deepened when people do things together, so look at your business processes as a potential ally.  For example, if you are a financial advisor courting a prospective client, you might create a two-week process like this

• hold initial discovery meeting
• publish discovery meeting summary
• gather additional client information to complete needs analysis
• hold a second meeting for recommendations

The fact that there are multiple steps which are closely connected creates momentum and deepens rapport because it is collaborative.  Within a tighter time frame, the same concept would apply to a customer service phone call that involves several steps to deliver service.

DS: In today’s economy, the most valuable customer may well be the one you already have.  What’s different about sales in a customer retention context?

MH: When you’re talking about reacting to inbound cancellation calls, they are definitely unique.  As sales conversations, they’re actually inside-out because the conversation literally begins with an objection, “I don’t want your product.”  From a psychological point of view, those are fightin’ words – “I don’t love you anymore!” – so you have to be thoughtful and unravel it from the inside-out, both factually and emotionally, before you offer solutions.  In terms of specific tips, that means asking extra questions and demonstrating you understand the situation from the customer’s point of view before offering any solutions.

 DS: What can be done proactively to improve customer loyalty and retention?

MH: That is a great question because once someone has placed a cancellation call — hired a divorce lawyer, essentially — things are looking grim.  Customer retention actually begins with the way a product or service is marketed and sold:  What expectations were set?  It continues with the post-sales experience: Were the customer’s expectations fulfilled?  Unfulfilled? Surpassed?  And, when they have problems, How is the resolution process?   We know for a fact that customers who have problems which are then successfully resolved actually end up being more loyal than customers who never have problems in the first place.  But, it turns out that whether or not a customer perceives that their issue was “resolved” has a great deal to do with how they felt about it.

A recent study by Corporate Executive Board, “Engineering the Low-Effort Customer Experience,” demonstrates that most companies are focused on what the customer has to do to receive service and resolve issues.  But the research clearly shows how customers feel about their experience has a much more powerful impact on retention.  So corporate investments in process improvements may well have a lower ROI compared to helping the front line develop deeper emotional connections with customers.

DS: Isn’t that a little ambitious for what is basically just a routine customer service call?

MH: Maybe, but keep in mind that a customer who intends to cancel was at some time in the past an excited buyer who chose that provider because they thought it was the best choice.  Then, along the way, something changed.  It’s a love story gone wrong.  Customers cancel subscriptions and service agreements for three basic reasons:

1) circumstances beyond control, such as death, relocation, military deployment, job loss, etc.

2) a shifting perception of value versus the competition; and/or

3) a negative customer experience or perceived slight

On a psychological level, #2 sometimes reduces to #3, especially in the retention world, and here’s why:  it’s common in the pay television and mobile telephone industries, for example, for providers to offer richer incentives for new customers than for continuing customers.  This can provokes resentment on the part of the loyal customers, especially if they have also have some negative customer experiences.  The cumulative effect puts a strain on the relationship and it may take some help from a retention specialist to help the customer remember why they walked down the aisle together in the first place.

 DS: How can you empower salespeople develop deeper emotional connections with customers, especially when the customers may be upset about something, or even intending to end the relationship?

MH: That puzzle has two pieces: content and execution.  As far as content, old skill “soft skills” don’t cut it anymore.   The new frontier is “experiential engineering,” or “behavioral economics.”  It’s a more sophisticated approach based on empirical research reported by scholars such as Robert Cialdini, (Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion) and Dan Ariely (Predictably Irrational).  These principles help generate roadmaps for customer conversations in specific contexts.  The goal is what Cialdini calls “ethical influence.”  It’s not meant to be manipulative or self-serving, but rather to make your case in the best possible light, psychologically speaking.  And you do that by creating a non-threatening conversation in which the customer feels more comfortable, and therefore more open, both to sharing information and to entertaining new ideas and recommendations that may benefit them.

Content is only about 25-30% of the solution, however.  The other 70-75% is execution, meaning training and coaching.

DS: You’ve said before that “the vast majority of sales training is a complete waste of time and money,” and we know from our own research that 85% of sales training projects are judged a failure.  In your experience, why is that?

MH: Sales performance improves when verbal sales behaviors improve, but most people drastically underestimate the level of effort required to execute.  What happens is, new leadership comes in, they assume their predecessors and/or pervious vendors didn’t know what they were doing, and they cross their fingers that the next vendor they pick is going to provide the perfect sales model or technology to fix everything.

 The reason 85% of sales training projects fail is because changing the collective verbal habits of a sales force is extremely difficult to do, whether it’s a team of 20 field sales reps or 2,000 inside agents.  In some of the call center environments we work in, for example, a customer retention salesperson might have the same 6-minute sales conversation literally 1,000 times in the course of one month.  Call centers are quite literally laboratories of verbal habit-building.  It reminds me of the driving range at the golf course.  And, just like a driving range, the question is, What is the quality and effectiveness of the behaviors that are being ingrained over and over again?

DS: OK, so if you want to help someone improve their swing, how do you do it?

MH: UCLA Coach John Wooden nailed it when he said that, “The four laws of learning are explanation, demonstration, imitation, and repetition.”  You have to be able to itemize exactly what verbal behaviors you want, provide lots of models of excellence for people to imitate, and plenty of opportunities to practice skills in a safe environment.  But Coach Wooden also understood how to apply the psychology influence to his coaching interactions and player relationships.  Effective sales coaches know how to manage the psychology of their coaching interactions just like effective salespeople know how to manage the psychology of sales and service conversations.  It’s all about persuading someone (a customer or an employee) to consider taking an alternate course of action.

 DS: How important are customer retention incentives, such as a free month of service as a reward for continuing a subscription?

MH: Incentives are somewhat overrated, and many companies could actually reduce their giveaways without harming customer retention.  We saw dramatic proof of that at AOL in the early 2000’s.  Credits went down even while retention improved because the salespeople developed a better working understanding of the psychology of the call and the verbal techniques that lead to a more productive conversation.  On the other hand, if you just throw credits at dissatisfied customers without addressing the underlying issues, you’re just prolonging the inevitable and costing yourself more money along the way.

DS: How are new technologies impacting customer retention?

MH: Companies collect and utilize more and more information about their customers as time goes on, and they get that information not only from your direct business dealing with that company, but also from other data sources that itemize, for example your behavior as a consumer and your demographic profile.  If you call from a home or mobile phone that is associated with your account, the technology “recognizes” you even before you’ve been connected with an agent.  Some companies calculate your projected “lifetime value” as a customer and developed tiered retention offers: the more valuable you are a customer, the richer the retention incentive.

Using call recording and speech recognition technologies, they can also data mine customer conversations for key words, and even measure stress levels.  That’s on the customer side.  One of the latest moves is to do something similar on the agent side, namely develop an agent profile based on a specific set of criteria, and then matching that agent with a specific customers for maximum affinity.  The technology from IBM is called RAMP and it’s been called “match.com” for customer service.

Search others for their virtues. – Ben Franklin

The second factor in building rapport, according to Dr. Robert Cialdini, is paying compliments. It’s proven that people prefer those who pay them compliments to those who don’t, and they are also more open to being influenced by them (“if he likes me, he must have my best interests at heart”).  This may seem obvious, but sometimes you have to use your imagination to find things that you genuinely admire about people and to pay them sincere compliments.  What makes compliments so powerful?  The reason is the basic instinct for self-preservation.

In ancient times the handshake originated because potential enemies would have to take their hands off their weapons to shake hands.  Compliments are just as disarming because they quickly signal that we are not a threat and may even be an ally.  If the ultimate psychic threat is feeling unimportant or unworthy, compliments are the antidote.

Paying compliments is a highly effective way to build rapport, but they are not just ice-breakers, they’re also critical to successful consulting, coaching, and consultative selling.

If you are a consultant or a consultative sales professional, you face the Coach’s Dilemma: you have to accurately diagnose client problems and gaps and also prescribe remedies but without causing them to feel defensive or resent of your help.  Because if they get defensive it lessens the chance they will comply voluntarily and increases the chance they will actively resist.  (The same applies to coaching behavior changes in employees.)

In terms of behavioral psychology, when people feel threatened or criticized it makes them “ball up” and become defensive. In defensive mode, little comes in and little gets out in terms of sharing information or considering changes.  An organism that feels threatened would rather maintain the status quo and avoid the unknown (see Carl Rodgers “Nineteen Principles”).

Robust and thoughtful compliments are key to resolving the Coach’s Dilemma. Receiving compliments helps people feel at ease because it creates a psychological safety zone. And when people feel at ease, they are more likely both to share information and to consider new ideas, two things that are extremely important for professional influencers.

When your client feels affirmed by your recognition of the things they are doing well, they are less likely to feel threatened by – and less likely to resist – your recommended changes. When delivering consulting (or selling consultatively or coaching employees) recognize all the positive things your clients are doing and help them feel good about those things. The resulting self-esteem will come in handy when you are making recommendations for change later on.

Next: Collaboration

To build “rapport” is to build a link, a connection, or a bond. The word derives from a French word (“rapporter” ) which means “to bring back,” such as a reporter who brings back an eyewitness report, or an investment that yields positive returns.  You have to venture out of yourself to build rapport.  The French idiom, je me’en rapporte à vous, means “I leave it to you,” or “I take your word for it.”   A person who says that is demonstrating they believe you have their best interests at heart and they trust you implicitly.

Rapport is important to the customer experience because it implies trust, credibility, and likeability. Some people seem to be more naturally gifted than others when it comes
to building rapport, but anyone can become good at it if they know the secrets.

Dr. Robert Cialdini is the author of numerous articles and books, including Influence: Science and Practice (Pearson, 2009).   According to Dr. Cialdini there are three things that stand out as powerful rapport builders:

1.  Commonalities –things we explicitly recognize that we have in common.

2.  Compliments – sincere appreciation for specific things.

3. Collaboration – doings things together, sharing experiences.

The “three C’s” of Rapport building can and should be used anytime there is an opportunity, whether speaking with someone new or someone we know well.

Commonalities

Dr. Cialdini summarizes that “we like people who are similar to us.  This fact seems to hold true whether the similarity is in the area of opinions, personality, traits, background, or lifestyle.”  One study showed that customers were more likely to buy insurance when a salesperson was like them in age, religion, and politics.  Several other studies have shown that we are more likely to help people who are dressed like us.

A commonality could be literally anything: a regional accent, what you ordered for lunch, what vehicle you drive, the day of the week, or even the hour of the day (“Wow, it’s early, huh?”).

A few years ago I was driving from Huntsville to Birmingham, Alabama, in a tiny compact car that reminded me of a sewing machine.  It was so modest I was a little embarrassed
to be driving it.  Halfway to my destination I stopped for a bottle of water, and when I came out of the store, a man came up to me and started speaking rapidly in a charming Southern accent.  It took me a minute to figure out what he was saying: we were driving the exact same car and he had parked next to me.  He wanted to talk about the
gas mileage and the options, and what I liked about the car.  Even though we had never met and I didn’t even know his name, I think could have borrowed $20 from him that minute.  We bonded over the vehicle.  You have probably experienced something
similar when you meet someone has the same first name as you.  Suddenly you have a small bond that you don’t have with others.

The reason we see testimonials in advertising so often is that we tend to be more easily persuaded by the testimony of “people like us” (whatever that might be).  It helps us to rely on the experience of similar others because it saves us time and gives us confidence we are making smart choices.

When you are trying to attract new customers, or retain existing ones, be sure to show them how others “just like them” got maximum value from your products and services.  Next time:  Compliments.